What Your Cat’s Petting Style Says About Them

Every cat has its own petting style, and many factors go into their preferences, such as location, tempo and strength. As the person doing the petting, you need to be mindful of each cat’s petting likes and dislikes.

When it comes to petting, don’t grab a cat you meet for the first time and start touching them all over. They’ll get offended, lash out and run away. Think about how you’d feel if someone you never met invaded your personal space and assumed you were OK with a big bear hug or a pinch on the cheeks.

Pet behaviorists suggest approaching a new cat cautiously and letting them smell your finger. This kind of introduction helps the cat get acquainted with you through their sense of smell. Once you’ve established a connection with a cat, you need to figure out their petting style and follow it.

Here are 15 petting styles and some insight into what they say about your cat.

Back Petting

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For back petting, stroke your cat in one long movement, starting with the head and moving down the back in the same direction as the grain of the fur. It’s essential to use the right amount of pressure and stop at the tail base.

Be careful to restrict your touch to the body’s back area as several trigger spots will get an adverse reaction when touched, such as the feet, tail and backside.

What This Says About Your Cat

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If your cat’s petting style is back petting, they’re confident, friendly and happy. They’re not afraid to direct you and let you know what they like.

If their tail is up, they may be telling you you’re allowed to include it in your petting plan. Rolling around and head butting are ways your cat lets you know to keep doing what you’re doing.

Backward Petting

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Starting from the tail base, use your hand to brush against the fur’s grain. Go back and forth a few times as if you were affectionately ruffling someone’s hair. This move is excellent for older or heavier cats who can’t scratch an itch on their back and might be neglecting their grooming.

Backward petting is an advanced move, and many cats don’t like it, so use it sparingly, and don’t be too rough, or you’ll get them overstimulated. When you’re done, be sure to pet your cat the traditional way, so they don’t end up looking like a punk-rocker with their fur sticking up in spikes.

What This Says About Your Cat

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If your cat’s petting style is backward petting, they’ve got a real sense of individuality. They’re creative cats who think outside the box but have a practical side to them as well.

Think about having an itch you can’t reach and finally getting it scratched — it feels wonderful, and that’s how your cat feels. They’ll be in an extra playful mood after some backward petting.

Belly Rub

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With a belly rub, pet the soft fur on the cat’s stomach, applying gentle pressure and going at a slow speed.

Be careful not to make any sudden movements, pat them too vigorously or press down into your strokes.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The belly-rub-petting style isn’t for everyone. If your cat exposes their middle to you and lets you pet them on their stomach, they’re very trusting, loyal and committed.

They’re showing you themselves at their most vulnerable, which isn’t easy for a cat to do. The cat who enjoys a good belly rub is a very dog-like cat.

Chin Scratch

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For some cats, a chin scratch is as close as you’ll get to petting them, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get a lot of enjoyment from it. Scratch directly underneath the chin, go in from the side, or do a combination of the two.

By using your nails, it will help your cat feel the scratching better through their fur. A cat’s scent glands are located under their chin, so when you scratch there, your cat releases pheromones, making it a relaxing and bonding experience for the both of you.

What This Says About Your Cat

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Almost all cats enjoy a good chin scratch, but if your cat only likes chin scratching, they’re cautious, intelligent and content. Since cats can’t reach under their chin, it’s difficult for a cat to resist some good chin “scritches.”

The cat with this petting style may seem reserved, but once they get into having their chin scratched, they’ll warm up and may even seek you out.

Couple’s Pet

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A couple’s pet is when you pet two or more cats at a time. You’ll have to be careful not to favor one cat over the other while avoiding all the danger spots and remembering individual preferences.

If you’re petting one cat and another is in the room but out of reach, be sure to say the name of the cat you aren’t petting, so they feel a part of the situation and don’t get jealous.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat whose petting style is to share being petted with another cat is affectionate, easy-going and a big love bug.

They love attention from more than one source and sharing a petting session with a sibling makes them feel well-loved.

Full-Body Petting

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The main thing you want to remember about full-body petting is to caress the head, back and sides equally and with the same amount of gentle pressure.

Don’t include your cat’s paws, belly or back side unless you know for sure you’ve got their permission to do so.

What This Says About Your Cat

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When your cat enjoys full-body petting, they have a very agreeable and outgoing personality. They’re loyal and affectionate to their humans, and they have an indulgent side to their personality.

These cats have a healthy appetite for food, play and affection. This cat doesn’t deny itself anything.

Head Only

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Head-only petting may seem limited, but in fact, it has more vital petting spots than either the side or the back.

Head-petting can include petting the nose, smoothing the fur on the cheek behind the whiskers, rubbing the ear tips between the thumb and forefinger, and up and down scratching of the neck.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat whose petting style is head-only has clear boundaries. They’re not antisocial or unaffectionate, just very self-aware.

They know what they like, and they know how to train their humans to give it to them.

Held and Petted

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If your cat is OK with being held, you may tenderly and gently pet them. The lightest touch you have is the one to use, but be careful not to tickle them.

Tickling happens when you touch the tip of a single strand of fur. You know you’re tickling them when it causes a ripple effect with your cat’s coat. If you tickle them, you’ll ruin the mood, and your cat will jump out of your arms.

What This Says About Your Cat

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If you and your cat routinely have this kind of petting situation, your cat is very loving and sweet. They’re in touch with their inner-kitten. They enjoy spending time with their human and bonding.

It’s a rare gift to have a cat who likes being held like a baby, but there’s something very satisfying for you both when this happens.

Kitty-Instigated Petting

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This is when your cat rubs up against your legs, headbutts you or puts some part of their body on you like a paw on your arm or their head underneath your palm. Once you receive the message and start petting, try to avoid rubbing their feet, backside or tail.

Stick to the back, side or head, and check-in with your cat to see if they’re OK with what you’re doing.

What This Says About Your Cat

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If your cat prefers to instigate a petting session themselves, it means they’re assertive, confident and decisive. They want to control the petting narrative, and they’re not shy about telling you when they need some affection and how much.

If you have more than one cat, this cat will most likely be the alpha-cat.

I Knead You to Pet Me

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Some cats are taken away from their mothers too early, and there are times when they appear to revert to when they were kittens. You know they need to be comforted when they knead you with their sharp claws. Your cat may be in a cat bed or furry blanket, and start making biscuits.

When you pet them, it adds to their sense of security. Again, with your petting, make sure it’s not too forceful and is in an approved place on their body.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat who kneads while being petted may be somewhat insecure and needy (no pun intended.)

It’s good they instinctively know how to self-soothe, but it’s even better that they trust you enough to be vulnerable in front of you and look to you to comfort them.

Massage Petting

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Massage petting is like full-body petting but with extras like talking or singing to get them in a relaxed state. Start by applying gentle pressure to their shoulders and going from there. Use a circular motion on their back and sides. Massage each approved body part for about a minute.

Remember to take your cues from your cat. If their tail starts moving angrily, they hiss or try to scratch you, move on.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat who’s into massage petting is laid-back, content and zen.

They’re fully aware of what’s happening, and while they’re still on their guard, their defenses are lowered, and they’re very relaxed.

On-Lap Petting

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Lap petting, like hold petting, should feel like an honor. Your cat loves you enough to let go of their reservations and trusts that you won’t be too rough. When petting a cat in your lap, be careful not to make any sudden moves.

Stroke the easy-to-reach areas that are popular with your cat, like their head and back. Chin scratches are also recommended.

What This Says About Your Cat

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When your cat jumps into your lap, settles down and allows you to pet them, they’re demonstrating a high level of trust. Lap petting is an advanced petting style, and a previous petting relationship does need to be established, or your cat will quickly jump out of your lap.

If you find yourself with a cat you’ve just met, don’t assume they wish to be petted. Stay as still as possible and try not to make any jerky movements.

Side Petting

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Side petting is done with both hands going down the cat’s sides smoothly and softly. Picture it as if you were giving the most delicate pat-down you could provide.

You don’t want to pat the cat, as that might be too disruptive to them.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat whose petting style is side petting is well-balanced, curious and interested in discovering new things. They’re spontaneous, have a sense of humor and have a lot of energy.

Side petting is a little bit different without being too out there.

Two-Person Petting

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Two techniques can be used in two-person petting. The first way is when you and another person pet and scratch your cat simultaneously, being careful not to touch any place that hasn’t been approved of by your cat.

The other way is for the cat to go back and forth between you.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat who prefers to be petted by two people thinks of themselves as royalty. They like having two people catering to their every need, especially their need to be touched, pampered and attended to.

This cat is self-centered and proud of it and does think of its owners as staff.

Upper-Body Petting

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Upper-body petting is when your attention is focused on the cat’s chest or ruff. You pet them in a downward motion being careful to stop before you reach their midsection.

Instead of using the whole hand, try using only two fingers, so your touch is light, and you won’t press too hard on the area above their heart. The motion of chest petting isn’t unlike brushing a crumb off a bib.

What This Says About Your Cat

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The cat, whose petting style is upper body, is proud, self-confident and a natural problem-solver.

Often the upper body is a trial, and once you’ve proven to be trustworthy by not going too far outside the box, your cat will let you include more areas of the body.