Just when we thought selective breeding couldn’t get any weirder, we met hairless guinea pigs. These odd critters, affectionately known as skinny pigs, are just like their furry counterparts, only bald.
Owning one is a lot like owning a regular guinea pig, but there’s nothing regular about how funky they look. Are they ugly? Are they adorable? Get a load of these skinny pigs, and we’ll let you be the judge.
That Awkward Moment You Accidentally Open the Front-Facing Camera
Skinny pigs typically have some fur on their faces, which gives them a sort of “old man chic” vibe. This one’s single, curled eyebrow hair matches his curled ears.
Put Some Clothes On. There Are Children Present
The red eyes of albino animals is always rather disarming, but it’s extra creepy on something that looks like a plump, naked rat.
Or Let It All Hang Out
Admittedly, with dark eyes, they’re almost cute. Almost. We appreciate this skinny pig’s self-image, though. Way to make a contribution to the body positivity movement.
Hairless Guinea Pigs Are Basically Mini Hippos
You can tell us this is not a miniature hippo, but we know you’re lying.
See? Hippo.
You cannot tell us this is not a hippo. It absolutely is, minus the 3,500 pounds of fury.
We Knew Fur Could Come In Different Colors, but We Didn’t Know Guinea Pig Skin Came in Different Colors, Too
Interestingly, hairless guinea pigs can come in a variety of colors. For the most part, only the peach fuzz on their faces is colored, but their skin can be pale pink, brownish or spotted.
Rufus, Is That You?
Remember that show “Kim Possible”? Kim was our cartoon idol growing up, and she wouldn’t have lasted long without her trusty naked mole rat sidekick, Rufus.
We’re not saying a skinny pig will help you become an undercover superhero, but we’re not saying it won’t.
My, What a Distinguished Gentleman
Since skinny pigs don’t have much fur, it’s harder for them to regulate their own body temperature. They prefer temperatures between 65-75 degrees, and some owners opt to dress them up to keep them warm during cooler months.
Date Night Hits Different When Your Instacart Order Is Taller Than You
Like any type of guinea pig, hairless guinea pigs are social creatures that should be kept with at least one buddy. Keep the ice cream for yourself and treat them to a feast of fresh greens instead.
Mr. Moochies the Hairless Guinea Pig Knows How to Party
See? They love it. A veggie platter instead of a birthday cake isn’t sad when you’re a rodent.
Hairless Guinea Pigs Love Playtime, but Don’t Forget the Sunscreen
Seriously, don’t. Hairless guinea pigs have sensitive skin that’s prone to dryness and sun damage, so apply a thin layer of pet-safe sunscreen on exposed skin if you take them outside. Just avoid the eye and mouth area to be on the safe side.
When You’re a Hairless Guinea Pig, but You Like to Stay Classy
These big-spending skinny pigs have expensive taste considering they only cost $100-200 themselves. Considering you two can’t tell time, maybe skip the Rolex and head to Sprouts instead.
Flynn Rider’s Smolder Has Nothing on This Guy
Despite this fellow’s intense expression, skinny pigs are very vocal and affectionate. They also tend to be less confrontational than normal guinea pigs, so owners don’t have to worry as much about spats over territory.
Blep
You won’t find this tip in any skinny pig guide, but if they leave their tiny pink tongue out, you are legally obligated to poke it. Gently, of course.
At the End of the Day, Skinny Pigs Just Want to Have Fun
Give a hairless guinea pig a friend, a sizable enclosure, pine-free bedding and plentiful hay, and you’ll have a happy, odd-looking companion for up to seven years.
And, yes, you can moisturize them with coconut oil.