9 Phrases You Should Never Say to Someone Who Put Down Their Pet
Losing a pet is like losing a little furry soulmate. So when someone says goodbye to their beloved buddy, the last thing they need is a well-meaning comment that accidentally lands like a brick. This article rounds up the worst things people blurt out after a pet’s final trip to the vet.
“It was just a dog/cat.”
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Nothing slaps harder than having your grief dismissed as if it came with fur and a lower value. Studies show that pet loss can cause grief compared to losing a close human companion. People don’t see their pets as accessories—they’re family, sometimes the most loyal members.
“You can always get another one.”
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Pets aren’t interchangeable like batteries or socks. Suggesting a “replacement” dismisses the unique bond someone had with their animal. Each pet has a personality, quirks, and history that can’t be duplicated. Hearing this phrase can make them feel like their pet never mattered.
“It was probably their time.”
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This can feel like someone stamping a date on grief and calling it settled. Even if the pet had been sick or elderly, saying this assumes the person is ready to accept the loss, which they might not be. Some owners feel guilt or doubt, so phrases like this just add pressure.
“I know exactly how you feel.”
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No one truly knows how someone else feels. Even if you’ve said goodbye to your pet, each loss hits differently. This phrase shifts the focus to your experience, even if you mean well. It can make the grieving person feel unheard or, worse, compared. Keep the spotlight where it belongs.
“They’re in a better place now.”
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It might feel soothing, especially if you share spiritual beliefs, but not everyone finds comfort in imagining their pet somewhere else. And even if they do, that “better place” still isn’t here. This reminds them of the absence they’re facing in the now—quiet rooms, no familiar tail thumps.
“Well, they were ancient anyway.”
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Age doesn’t soften the heartbreak. Whether a pet passed away at 3 or 13, it’s the relationship that makes the loss hard, not the number of years. This can sound like the pet has already outstayed its welcome. The truth is, the longer the time spent together, the harder the goodbye.
“It’s not like losing a person.”
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Many people feel the loss of a pet more intensely than the loss of a distant relative or even a friend. Pets are with their humans daily and offer silent loyalty and unconditional comfort. This phrase just creates an unfair hierarchy of grief.
“Be grateful you had them for so long.”
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While it’s true that having a pet for many years is a blessing, this phrase can come off as dismissive. Telling them to focus on the years spent together isn’t doing anything. The reality is that no matter how many years, it’s never easy to say goodbye.
“They looked fine to me—are you sure it was time?”
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This statement questions the pet owner’s decision during an already difficult time. Grief often includes second-guessing, and hearing this can make someone feel like their decision was wrong. It can also imply that the person didn’t really need to make that tough call.
“Now you won’t have to deal with all the mess.”
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The pet’s messes—whether it’s shedding, accidents, or constant grooming—were part of the bond. A pet owner loves their animal’s quirks, including the mess. Saying this phrase makes it sound as though the loss is somehow a relief, but grief isn’t about convenience.
“You did the right thing… I think.”
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Adding uncertainty to a decision that’s already been made can confuse and upset someone who’s mourning. Pet owners wrestle with the guilt of making that tough choice, so hearing “I think” can leave them second-guessing their actions. It implies that there might have been a better alternative.
“You must feel relieved it’s over.”
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This assumes that grief is replaced with relief after the pet’s passing. Sure, pet owners may feel some peace that their pets are no longer suffering, but they’re also dealing with the emotional toll of loss. Grief is complex and often includes a wide range of emotions.
“Think about all the money you’ll save now.”
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The financial aspect pales in comparison to the emotional connection. Pet owners don’t measure their love or the bond. Focusing on savings rather than their loss makes it seem like the pet was a financial burden rather than a cherished companion.
“It’s just part of life.”
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This phrase may seem like a simple fact, but it can sound cold and dismissive. Loss, especially the loss of a beloved pet, isn’t something anyone simply “accepts” without profound emotion. Death is part of the cycle of life, but that doesn’t make the grief any easier to bear.
“Time to move on.”
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Telling someone to move on implies that their grief should have a set expiration date. The pain from losing a pet can linger far beyond what others might expect or understand. Each person’s grieving process is unique, and it’s not for others to dictate when that process should end.