Have you always dreamed of housing a 300-pound toddler that never grows up? If so, a pig might be the perfect pet for you. Their intelligence is almost unmatched among animals, but keeping a pig is nothing like owning a dog.
We asked Reddit what it’s really like to own a pet pig, and boy, did pig owners deliver. Before you bring home a cute, pink piglet, see what you’re in for.
Pet Pigs Do Not Like to Be Picked Up. At All. Ever.
“Piglets are a pain in the butt to pick up. She was four months old when I got her, and she let out an ear-splitting scream when I picked her up. When her old owner gave her to me it was because she couldn’t manage her. I’ve worked with her over the last month giving her treats whenever I set her down, never throwing a blanket over her, and talking to her in a soothing voice. She is still only about 40 percent there, but that is a huge improvement.” —Anonymous Redditor
They Don’t Do Stairs, So Prepare to Install a Ramp If You Have a Second Story
“Stairs are killer for pigs. We had 2 steps to the yard, only 2 because we live in a ranch and we had to pick him up and down each time he had to go out, so that was numerous squeals and kicks a day because he hated being picked up. You can buy a ramp though and train him to go up and down the ramp.” —HelpMeHelpPig, Reddit
Most Mini Pet Pigs End Up Anything But
“I could tell instantly it was just a regular pig, and that thing would be huge. It was insanely loud, because it’s a pig. It smelled like a farm, because it’s a pig. We found him a proper home a few days later, on property with his own kind. It’s was a brutal few days. I can’t describe how loud he screamed when you picked him up to put on a harness so he wouldn’t run away.” —Sw4y40, Reddit
…Unless You Consider 300 Pounds to Be Petite, of Course
“To be fair, they are ‘mini’ … in that they’re like 300 pounds instead of 700. LOL but yeah, I really really hope this whole ‘mini pig’ thing dies quickly, because all it should take is a quick google search for people to realize that they aren’t going to stay tiny, and they aren’t going to be like a dog but smarter.” —Anonymous Redditor
If You Think Pugs Are Vacuum Cleaners, Wait Until You Meet a Pig
“I’m used to a dog that wants to hoover up everything in sight, including things left on the counter if she can find a way to climb up, so I figured I understood what, ‘wants to eat everything’ meant. I was wrong. All the cords had to be up, all the Lego bits had to be accounted for, anything remotely chewy (like a Nerf gun dart) was fair game.” —Iatentded, Reddit
Having a Pig Is Like Having a Dog
“I had a pet potbelly growing up, and she was no dog, but we treated her like one sometimes lol. We walked her on a leash in the backyard to poop, and fed her with the dogs, and she loved going in our pool and swimming around. She loved bath time! She was 100+ pounds easily though. Her bed was our old giant Fisher-Price turtle sandbox filled with blankets and pillows, and she lived inside the house with us.” —Bluesky747, Reddit
Except It’s Really, Really Not
“I always tell people who say they want a pig to only get a pig if they want a pig and are prepared for a pig, not a dog.” —GradientQueenOfHell, Reddit
Pigs Aren’t Always Sweet and Well-Mannered, Even With Professionals
“I used to work at a clinic that saw pigs. I would DREAD the pig appointments. They were always mean and difficult to hold.” —Ceopet, Reddit
Pet Pigs Are Extremely Intelligent, So Keeping Them Entertained Is Mandatory
“I had a potbelly pig. I got her at about eight weeks old, and she grew up indoors. She got along very well with my dogs and other animals. She actually got very bonded to the big dog I had at the time. She potty-trained very quickly, and I’d let her outside when the dogs went out. She was a character and lots of fun, but pigs are intelligent so they get bored easy.” —Hollinator19, Reddit
Having a Pet Pig Is Almost as Much Work as Having a Permanent Toddler
“I have a mini pig (Juliana breed), and they are basically like having a 2-year old. Extremely smart, and require a lot of interaction/attention, or they act up, just like a tiny person. The longest I leave her alone for would be around 4-5 hours.” —Visualoptimism, Reddit
Every Pig Has a Unique Personality
“I have two. One is a dream. He is friendly and well-behaved. The other is less enjoyable at times, but she’s still young. Her potty training took longer, and she whines a lot when she doesn’t get what she wants and does tear things up if left unsupervised.” —Sdp0et, Reddit
Just Because They’re Cute Doesn’t Mean They Make Good Pets
“I had one for a few months. It was the absolute worst pet I’ve ever had. And I’m a lifelong pet person and animal lover. I even love snakes, spiders, centipedes, etc. Not this pig. … Also they don’t stay little and will eat your toes when they get big. Please don’t get one.” —Duroo, Reddit
Having a Pet Pig Requires a Healthy Dose of Patience, and Even More Physical Strength
“They seem to love the sound of chairs when they knock them over. They learn that they can open the fridge and eat everything while you’re not looking. They will destroy a yard. They will rip up your carpet. They will push against you and try to bully you to get their way (and at 250 pounds, or 2,000 pounds, that can be a lot of bullying).” —EDLyonhart, Reddit
The Phrase ‘You Eat Like a Pig’ Makes a Lot of Sense
“Pigs will get bored. They will eat everything. EVERYTHING.” —Anonymous Redditor
Pigs Wreak Havoc If They Don’t Get Enough Attention
“I wouldn’t recommend one if you are gone that long during the day. I’d come home after a few hours, and she’d have stuff torn apart. One time, she pulled a whole drawer out from the kitchen to rummage through the food. Eventually, she stayed outside all the time, but I got an alpaca, and they hung out together so it worked out.” —Hollinator19, Reddit
Pigs Don’t Take Kindly to New Pets in the House
“Pigs can be very jealous and do not share nicely. Once a pig is established in a home, it’s very difficult to introduce new pets. Even new pigs. They are territorial and will attack because they don’t want to share their home or their humans.” —Whatsamattahere, Reddit
They Really Are Like Four-Legged Toddlers, Only Heavier Than You
“For animals, they are very emotionally advanced and that can easily turn into petulance (imagine a child who weighs 250 lbs and is stuck in their ‘terrible twos’).” –EDLyonhart, Reddit
They’ll Eat the Walls, and Finding a Vet When They Do Won’t Be an Easy Task
“Pigs are super intelligent. They want food and they will stop at nothing to get it, even if they are super fat. You will cry when you cannot figure out how to contain them. You will cry when they find the most expensive thing in the room and eat it. You will cry when you rush them to the only vet in the area that will see them (which is nearly two hours away).
Pigs are just about the closest thing to a 2-year-old child. So choose wisely!” —rebeccaeve1989
Zoning Laws Can Be a Major Obstacle to Pig Ownership
“It’s VERY important to find out the laws on owning a pig at your exact address. Many people find out after they’ve fallen in love with their pig that they are actually violating local zoning laws and are then forced to give up their pig.” —Weird_With_A_Beard, Reddit
Pig-Proofing Is Tougher Than Baby-Proofing
“If the pig will be an inside pig plan on pig-proofing your home. I have baby gates keeping my pig in the kitchen/living room area. Had to build a wooden box around my garbage can, bottom shelf of the food shelf has nothing on it and cabinets have baby locks, for example.” —SeaworthinessOk2884, Reddit
If You’re Seriously Considering Getting a Pet Pig, Take Time to Think It Over
“Pigs have a very high abandonment rate, so my best advice is make sure you can handle it. Pigs are hard. They are not dogs.” —Buffybot420, Reddit
Pigs Live Longer Than Most Marriages Last
“Pigs have longer life spans than dogs. You can expect 20-25 years from a pig. So it’s a really long commitment to a very difficult animal to do on a whim.” —EDLyonhart, Reddit
Say Goodbye to the Flower Garden in Your Yard. Actually, Say Goodbye to the Yard.
“Food. That’s all they care about. Nothing more. Nothing less. They want you to feed them all day and night, and they don’t care what it is. They’ll eat themselves sick or to the point where they are so fat they can’t get up. Got flowers in your yard? Not anymore. The pig ate them. Grass? Expect big holes from where she/he will rip it up and gulp it down.” —Whatsamattahere, Reddit
Pigs Will Try to Chew Gum
“Pigs LOVE gum. If you have it in a coat pocket, a purse, and it’s in their vicinity, then they’ll undoubtedly try and get it out and chew it—but that’s what they do with gum, chew it, they don’t swallow it.” —Leafunderneath, Reddit
If You Have to Move, Doing So With a Pet Pig Might Be Harder Than You Think
“Don’t do it lol. It’s so much freaking work. My wife and I have two pigs. It’s so loud all of the time. You have tons of problems with housing since a lot of places are not pig friendly.” —Stephenishere, Reddit
All in All, They’re Amazing Animals That Aren’t Good Pets for Most People
“Hmm maybe I should get a pig
-checks comments-
Hmm, maybe I should get a potted plant.” —Robert_Meowney_Jr, Reddit