You’ll Cry Laughing at This Guy’s Tweets About His Raccoon Roommate
A simple attic check turned into a comedy saga when one man began live‑tweeting his battle with an unexpected houseguest: a raccoon. His running commentary mixes genuine confusion, sharp wit, and a few laugh‑out‑loud twists that feel straight out of a sitcom. Here are 15 of his funniest tweets that made the internet howl.
A Shocking Find In The Attic
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An electrician casually broke the news that a raccoon had made itself at home in the attic—and apparently had a stash of king snow crabs. The thing is, the homeowner hadn’t eaten crabs at all, and this set the stage for a hilarious ongoing saga.
Keeping His Cool
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Instead of panicking about a raccoon allegedly stockpiling crabs upstairs, Drew tweeted that he felt “surprisingly calm.” Drew Olanoff, a communications specialist who shares stories with more than 35.8K Twitter followers, turned his steady tone into part of the entertainment.
A Long-Term Tenant
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The electrician’s inspection revealed more than a casual visit—this raccoon had been settled in for quite some time. Described as having “a nice setup,” the attic apparently suited the animal perfectly. Urban wildlife experts often note that raccoons adapt quickly, build nests, and store food like seasoned city dwellers.
The Best Room In The House
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The attic turned out to be more comfortable than expected, thanks to a large exhaust fan keeping the air cool. For raccoons, most attics offer basic shelter, but this one had the rare bonus of steady ventilation. Wildlife specialists note that while raccoons frequently settle in attics, it’s uncommon to find them in such well-ventilated spots.
Suburban Surprises
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His following tweet struck a chord with anyone who has left the city for quieter neighborhoods: no one warns you about sharing your home with wildlife when you move to the suburbs. Raccoon encounters indeed rise in suburban areas, where open trash bins and attics offer easy shelter.
The Funniest Phone Call
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His wife kept calmly repeating, “Yes, we have a raccoon in our attic, can you help us?” to one service after another, like she was ordering pizza instead of reporting a wild squatter. Imagine some officer hearing that while sipping coffee, wildlife hotlines must secretly collect these gems for break‑room entertainment.
Dialing The Pros
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The name alone sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon team, not a real service that deals with raccoons running attic operations. Wildlife removal companies often choose quirky names to stand out, but in this context, it made the story even funnier, like assembling a superhero squad.
Signs Of Suburban Stress
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Drew knew April was officially rattled when she gave her name to a wildlife service by saying, “April, like the month”—something she apparently never does. It was a tiny shift in behavior, but enough to signal that the raccoon drama had her on edge.
Paying For A Plan
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Hearing April read out a credit card number was enough for Drew to tweet that this might be good news. It hinted that a real removal service was finally on board to turn their attic problem into a billable job and that the raccoon’s days as an uninvited roommate were numbered.
Luxury Living, Attic Edition
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Suddenly, everyone imagined a raccoon kicking back in a massive loft, maybe shopping for throw pillows. Attics like this are prime real estate for wildlife: quiet, sheltered, and apparently roomy enough for a full raccoon condo. It turned a basic roofline into what felt like the neighborhood’s hottest new apartment listing.
Revoking The Open Invitation
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uddenly, it felt like the raccoon had read it as a personal invite to move in and bring snacks. The joke hit hard because, honestly, that sign might as well have said “Vacancy—Attic Suite Available.” It turns yard décor into the punchline of a wildlife sitcom.
The Hero Arrives
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It felt like the entrance of a sitcom character who’s about to save the day, tool belt and all. Professionals like Kris handle these calls constantly, but in this thread, he became a legend, walking into a suburban saga that had the internet watching like it was the season finale.
An Unexpected Battle Plan
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As Kris assessed the situation, he compared the upcoming struggle to “a dog fight… but with a raccoon.” Wildlife pros often warn that raccoons can be fierce when cornered, yet hearing it phrased like an action movie plot had followers imagining a showdown in the attic.
Thoughts And Prayers For Kris
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Seconds after hearing the attic might turn into a full‑blown showdown, Drew dropped, “Pray for him.” It read like a cliffhanger in the world’s weirdest action movie, with Kris marching off to face a raccoon armed with nothing but experience and a ladder.
The Plot Twist Ending
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The grand finale: it wasn’t a raccoon at all but a possum, and those “crab legs” turned out to be something entirely harmless. After hours of chaos, everyone was safe, slightly embarrassed, and probably a little more suspicious of attic noises going forward.